Everyone I Used to Know

Last night Q the Muse and I stayed up late and talked over some beers. It just kind of started out of nowhere. But, we talked about a lot of stuff that turned out being kind of important I guess. Then today I realized what has been bothering me. I think I just miss everyone I used to know. It's weird how the conversation I had with Q made me think of this, but I think it's the truth.

I used to know a LOT of people and they were all very good friends of mine. I'm not completely sure what the hell happened, but one after another they started disappearing. There were some people that bailed because things were getting to heated (understandable), others that bailed because they simply grew up (less understandable), and others that were shunned for their behavior within the group (no this is not a rant on that bull shit). Actually, to be completely honest, if I was ever pissed at anyone I'm completely over it, now. Aaaaaanyway...

I guess I am just saying that I miss all you people that are no longer in our lives. That sucks that you either decided to leave or we removed you. I guess I'm in the boat with every other mother fucker that wishes they could have done things differently. Cheers to us.

Musical Frustration

I have been having some trouble thinking of new music to listen to. I have been through everything I already have on this computer, and I am sick of it all. Does anyone out there have any good suggestions?? I would totally appreciate it!

It would appear that when I have nothing good to listen to I get in a bad mood pretty easily. I HATE that about me. Oh well I guess.

Right now I kind of settled on The Used: In Love and Death, and it seems to be doing alright for the moment. I think I've burnt out my brain by trying to listen to pop music. Some of it is pretty good, but some of it really sucks. So, my brain said "FUCK YOU, FASTERCHILD!! I will hate EVERYTHING now!!!" Stupid brain...

Anyway, if you have any good suggestions please feel free to comment them to me here. I am DYING for something good to listen to! If you're asking yourself "what would Fc enjoy?", probably something pretty hard rock, almost metal, but with melody and some good hooks to it. Yea that sounds pretty good :)

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Using Your Blinkers

I have noticed that more and more people aren't using their blinkers when they should. This is horribly aggravating! It's a simple push of a lever and it would appear that some people are so lazy, that even something as simple as that is way to much for them to do. I can't even think of a situation you wouldn't need to use your blinker unless you only need to use one road to get from point A to point B.

I use my blinker all the time. Even when I am pulling into someones driveway, I have the common courtesy to let other people know that I am turning by displaying my small flashing lights. I even use my blinkers in a parking lot. I think it's not only polite, but safe.

So what can I do to help people realize they are idiots? I am going to run into every car that doesn't use their blinker properly. I think then the accident wouldn't be my fault. Then all those blatant idiots can buy me a new car! It's going to be awesome.

If YOU don't want to have to buy me a new car, I would suggest using your god damn blinkers. Unless, of course, you have so much money that would just like to buy me a car anyway. I would consider it a donation to a greater good. Why not, right?

LoveSac Alternative Furniture Co.

Some of you might know this already, but as of last Friday I am no longer a web designer for LoveSac Alternative Furniture Company. Some changes were taking place and the need for my services were voided. It was a fun ride while it lasted, though! I hold absolutely no anger for their decision. When it comes right down to it, business is business, and I respect that completely.

When you sum up the job to a whole, it was basically Shawn Nelson (the owner) giving me a chance to learn as much as I could about the field I was in. I absolutely believe he saw the talent in me, but also knew I could grow much further outside the bounds I had developed myself. For that, I can't thank him enough. When you really think about it, there is really no one out there that will give you a chance to expand your talents while getting paid for it. I'm just glad I didn't let him down. At least to my knowledge anyway. But, who really knows, maybe I was just canned cause I suck.

LoveSac was my first "corporate" job. I wasn't sure exactly how things worked in the higher up world until I started working there. But, rest assured, it's pretty much just like every TV show you can imagine. It's no really even that bad to tell you the truth. The only thing that really brings it down is having to deal with soap opera shit. For instance, if you look at someone wrong, they will tell a higher up, saying that they feel morally defied, and uncomfortable with the way your soul rests within their personal space. Luckily, I didn't have many of these moments, only a couple. There were a couple of people there that understood, in basics, what I was about, and what I usually meant by anything I ever said.

For instance, Mike (the Director of eCommerce) took a lot of shit from me during my employment at LoveSac, haha. But, he understands that I'm just fucking crazy, and usually it's not really me that's talking. Realistically, he probably deserves a medal for having to deal with me. But, he would probably rather just forget about it...

Gabby had to take some of my shit as well. But, that was in the earlier days of working there. Not even completely sure why I would give her a slightly hard time, but, it was actually her that taught me about self control, forgiveness, and calming down without hurting anyone. She would probably have no idea why, but all I can say is that I watch how everyone acts, reacts, and adjusts to certain situations, and it speaks worlds of a person.

Either way, the point is that I've learned a lot from working there. Not only within the bounds of web design, but also a bit on how people's brains work. I suppose this can only help me to grow as a person. But, I have also realized how depressing it is to watch children play in their front yard together with a single toy, eagerly waiting for their turn. If they only knew how unimportant that toy was going to be when they grew up...

People Management

After working in a corporate environment for a while, it's really easy to learn exactly how people manage other people. For instance, you will be greeted as if you were their best friend. Then, small talk ensues in the same order it would everyday.

#1: "How are you doing today?"
#2: "What did you do last night / weekend?"
#3: "Did you hear about this news cast or sports event?"

It goes for longer sometimes, but you get the point. For those of you that don't work in an office environment and have no idea what it's like, no one you work with actually cares about you or what you did the weekend before. All they want to do is make sure you like them just in case they have a work related favor them may need to ask of you. Some people might argue that fact, but those are the people that are most guilty of this procedure.

Another great way to make people do what you want (if you are managing people) is to take them out to lunch. This gives you the chance to show you're really "one of the guys". Take my advice and don't fall for it! Whether or not you choose to go to lunch with these people is up to you, but don't think they are actually interested in anything you have to say. If anything, they will just take your stories and use them against you later.

Something that seems to happen all the time (at least within my experience), is the "way ta go bro!!" attitude to completed projects. You might do the smallest, gayest thing in the world and you be praised for it by a superior so that you will feel good about yourself and do more of what they ask. Don't fall for this either. Realistically they just want the most work out of you for as little spent time as possible to make themselves look better. Unless you are getting paid per project, there is no point killing yourself to get it done early or even on time if it's a really big project. Go by how long YOU think it would take to complete. Your boss doesn't give a fuck about your stress levels and he will plan the submission date to be almost a week (if not a month) earlier than it should be.

NEVER expect a raise for the work you're actually putting in. You could go years breaking your back for nothing. Do the minimum, unless the project is really important. Your boss will always tell you that you're on the fast track to success, when in fact, they are lining their pockets with your efforts. Why pay you more when your boss could be making more?

People management is basically a huge mind fuck designed to keep you in line and working hard. I can only hope that some of you out there got a good boss that doesn't act this way. For the rest of you, don't stand for it. Rip the skin off your boss and show the world the wolf that resides underneath.

How to Save Money on Gas

Recently, I have been getting pretty in to saving gasoline. Since I commute to Stamford from Middletown everyday, it has become pretty important to save money on gas. If I just drive normally I spend about $170 a week. BUT, since I have been using some new technique's I have gotten that number down to $100. Here are some of the things I have found out, either by experience or by looking it up, on how I saved on gas prices.

LOCATION EVALUATION
This one is pretty much just common sense, but it basically means that you should look up the quickest way to where ever you're going. I personally use Google Maps, but anything will really work. Make sure to keep in mind that the shortest distance isn't always the fastest way to where you're going. You need to take stop signs, stop lights, and traffic density into consideration when mapping out your travel route. When it comes to traffic, always remember to either check the news before you leave, or hit up your local radio station.

DRIVING TECHNIQUES
There are a couple different things I've heard about the way to actually DRIVE your car so that you get the best gas efficiency, but these are the things that have worked for me.

1: Keep steady on the accelerator. If you keep pressing on and off the gas, you are basically wasting it. Every time you pump the accelerator you are dumping unneeded amounts of gas into the cylinders. I assume that you are given the ability to speed up really fast on the highway for safety reasons, or if you feel like ramming a car that's going to slow.

2: Keep your engines RPM's down as much as possible. Unless you are street racing, there is probably no need to bring your engine up to 7,000 Revolutions Per Minute. Though I suppose you might miss your chance at running over your neighbors cat. For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about, the higher your RPM's are the harder your engine is working, and the more gas you're using.

3: When taking a curve, switch to the lane that's on the inside of the turn if there are more than one lane. This is a pretty good tip. If you really think about it, the inside of a curve is the shortest distance in the curve. Just think about walking around in a circle. Would you rather walk around the outside, or the center? Remember, if it's late at night, and you are driving on a two street that is only one lane each way, it is perfectly fine to hug the curb in the opposite lane if it happens to be on the inside of a curve. Who's going to catch you anyway?

4: Riding the wind behind another car. This pretty much only works on the highway, but it definitely works. In fact, Nascar drivers use this technique in order to save gas during a race. Basically, if you get as close as you can to the car in front of (you don't HAVE to tailgate them...) they break the force created by air, making your car have to struggle less in order to maintain a "safe" highway driving speed. I am not sure if it really matters what size of car is in front of you, but I usually pick a car that is about the same size as mine. I've tried it with huge Semi trucks, but they actually create a strange wind cycle behind them, making my car a little harder to control. It's actually kind of weird.

MECHANICAL IMPROVEMENTS
Is always a good idea to keep your vehicle up to par when it comes to running quality, aerodynamics, and structure integrity. My car was pretty beat for a while, but after I got the exhaust and brakes fixed along with a tune up, I was saving some good money. I guess this one kind of sucks only because you do have to spend some money to save some money, but with the way gas prices are looking, you will probably save more than you spend.

Another thing to remember, is that when you use the AC in your car, it is run by a belt directly controlled by your engine. This can bog down your engine, especially if you are driving an older car. BUT, keep in mind that rolling your windows down greatly reduces your aerodynamics which will make your gas millage suffer as well. My suggestion would be to evaluate your vehicle. If you're driving something newer, I would say use your AC. Newer cars don't lose as much power from their AC's. If you are rocking an older car, as I am, just roll down the windows. My car actually starts to chug when I switch on the AC. I can only imagine how much gas that wastes. But, don't forget to evaluate your driving situation as well. If you are driving slow speeds all the way to your destination, you might as well just roll down the windows. You wouldn't be going fast enough for it to matter, but your AC will still bog your engine down just as much as if you were going fast. If you are going to be hitting the highway in your brand spanking new, 2025 BMW, just use the fucking AC.


Other than these things, you probably already know all the other tricks. Look around for the cheapest prices on fuel, don't just run your car when parked, and try not to make too many molotov cocktails with the gas from your tank.... use someone else's.

The Art of Listening

I think most people just don't know how to listen and really only talk. I am not sure why, or even how that happens, but it seems to be more and more true each day that I study it. For instance, I will be telling someone a story, and almost automatically, someone will interrupt me. Sometimes with something that doesn't matter, or something that has nothing to do with the conversation, or even something that will one up the situation. I can't fucking stand it sometimes.

It appears that I am the only one that really listens to everyone. But recently I have been zoning out while they are talking just to see if it even matters. The conclusion, nope. I think most people just talk to have something to say. It doesn't really matter what they are talking about. It's gotten so bad, that sometimes I will completely forget what that person had started the conversation with. It's not like they notice I'm not paying attention though. They are so caught up in their story that I think I could have walked away and they would have told the rest to the tree I was standing next too. Poor tree.

In all actuality I don't really care that much. Most of the time I have nothing to say anyway. So, the fact that I have someone next to me babbling away makes me look more normal to everyone else who is there. At the same time, that kind of sucks. I can practically hear them saying to themselves "wow, he must be pretty normal, just like us! How comforting." In which case, I would like to go over to them and puke on their shoes all while laughing about the cat that was run over in their driveway.

This is not to say that I NEVER care about what people have to say. If it is a genuine thought I will completely listen and digest the content. For all of you out there that know me, stop thinking about whether I think you're an idiot or not. This pretty much has nothing to do with you, calm down. I think my basic aggression lays towards people who didn't learn the basic skills of waiting your turn to speak, not talking with food in your mouth, and don't stick things into electrical sockets. In my eyes, these are probably the 3 most important social tips in the world.

Or, maybe I am just stating publicly that I bow down to alpha type personalities. Could very well be, but thinking about it, those types of people are really horrible and most people don't even like them to begin with. They tend to be more annoying if nothing else. I like to think I am nice medium of both Alpha and Beta. For instance, I would calmly make the decision that needs to be made, and if it doesn't happen, I'll fucking kill you. I guess that makes sense. Either way, we are now way off topic...

I think that is why I am getting very bored of the drunk scene. There are way too many drunk people running around trying to be the life of the party. It makes me sick sometimes. Other times, I could care less. I just watch and wait for them to severally hurt themselves somehow.

Then, there are the relator's. These are the type of people who know exactly what you're talking about... all the time. I could say I raped their baby on the back of a whale on my way to Ireland and they would completely understand how it felt. They have already done that, and they have been past it, and they want to make sure you feel less special because of it. These people are almost worse than the "One Uppers". I can not count how many times I've held back a "oh yea, definitely, I completely did all that and felt the same way, but that's old news asshole" speech. I feel if I take part in it, it will only get worse.

Basically when it comes right down to it, I might not have anything important to say, but make sure that when you talk to me, interrupt me, or completely change the subject, you do.

...or maybe I just wish there was someone out there that would actually listen instead of talking about nothing. I haven't decided yet. Either way, thank god for this fucking thing.

Hummer H3

The Hummer H3 is the biggest piece of crap I have ever seen. I almost think it is worse than ever model before it. The only reason I even bring this up, is because I saw one on my ride home tonight on the highway. I thought the damn thing was going to tip over! I guess it didn't help that there was some jerk driving it, but still, they have made that car so skinny that there is no point in even driving one off road (ya know, the original reason the Hummer was created).

From what I understand, from talking with mechanics, is the commercial Hummer is quite literally, a Suburban frame with Hummer body slapped on top of it. Well what the hell then people?! Just buy a brand new Suburban for 1/4 of the price!

Realistically, no one should be buying an SUV anyway. It's you people that are making all the rest of pay more at the gas pump. You might bitch about paying $200 and up to fill up your fossil fuel guzzlers, but, it's your own damn fault that prices are that high to begin with. So, suck it. If everyone who owned an SUV for the past 10 years, owned a little Honda instead, gas prices might not be as high as they are right now. I would probably even feel safe saying that gas prices would be around $2.49 a gallon right now if the commercial SUV was never invented.

Well, thanks for ruining the world SUV owners. I hope you crash your brand new Hummer into an orphan crossing the road blindly and you end up in jail for 15 years on man slaughter.

J.G.F.U.W. Summary

Well, Jebus Gets Fucked Up Weekend was pretty awesome (and loooong) this year. I will be posting the summary for each day in their own posts soon. I just wanted to take a moment and thank you all for a kick ass time. It was really awesome that I got to see you all this year and party it up hardcore. Even though at one point I almost died, the good moments out way the bad moments like whoa!


Some Personal Thank Yous

Nick ST - Thanks for driving me around all weekend so that I didn't get a DUI or anything like that. That would have sucked.

Computer Girl - Thanks for letting us use your car and gas almost the whole celebration. That was pretty kick ass of you. Also, thanks for letting us stay at your house each and every night of it (at least I think it was every night...). OH, and thank you very much for the beers at Deja. That was very thoughtful of you :)

My Mother - Thanks for bringing me to the hospital on my actual birthday. I really thought I was going to die, and that would have sucked.

Shebus and her Man - Thanks for listening to my long and boring story on Tuesday. I talk a lot, I know. Also, thanks for hanging out, even if it was for a little bit.

Chris - Thanks for coming to Deja man, and Hair of the Dog. I know you probably shouldn't be out and about too much since the surgery, and I think it was awesome that you came out for those two days, son! Plus, thanks for letting me stay at your house on Wednesday.

Mike (guy from work) - Thanks for not bothering me with work at all on the two days I took off. I know there was probably a million things you could have called me about, but didn't.

Everyone Else - Thanks for just hanging out with me on this most glorious celebration of the curse god gave me (if he is actually real...)


To Everyone I pissed off this year, I apologize. I was just being pretty crazy drunk. You know how I can get sometimes. I know I have talked to a lot of you personally already, but for those of you that I didn't get to yet (or that I don't even remember pissing off), I am really sorry that I got a little crazy this year. If there is anything I can do to make it up to you, let me know. I really respect you all, and feel bad that I put your temper to the test.

Anyway, THANKS EVERYONE! Until next year :)

I Feel Sick

I am not completely sure what the hell is going on, but the world seems to either be shrinking, or becoming so huge that the abyss of such a thing is crippling. This is something I had talked to Nick about this weekend, actually. His answer was that I have just been stressing myself out with all sorts of responsibilities and such. I do agree with that to an extent. But, I can't really come up with a real "tell all" answer. Which sucks, because I tend to think of myself as a pretty smart dude.

I think when it really comes down to it, I just can't make my head shut up. First of all, I am not saying that I am different than any of you. I'm sure your head goes for miles as well. But, what tends to happen to me, is that when I think about one thing for too long, it actually turns into something else completely different. For instance, if I am thinking about... let's say... puppies. I all the sudden start thinking about football. I'm sure you can guess the result, which ends up with a couple very soar and unhappy baby dogs.

I first had explained this point to my sister, Shebus, and said not to go around telling anyone. But, whatever, the whole point of this fucking blog is to be honest and get some things out of head. Anyway, the other day I was at work, typing away, when I decided it was time to go to lunch. As I got up out of my chair, the plan was to get into my car, and go to Taco Bell. You need to understand the short distance I have to go to get to my car to completely understand this point. It is honestly straight the the elevator, down 4 floors, and right out the door. What's that, like 2 minutes or something? Anyway, the plan had completely changed by the time I had gotten the key into the door of the car. The revised plan, was to get into my car, go down the street to meet up with a drug dealer, buy a gun, text everyone goodbye, and slam a piece into my skull. I know that must sound bad, I guess, but I am not completely sure how that became the plan.

After thinking about it for a while, I kind of figured out what happened. Usually, it always feels like there are two people in my head. I guess you could say the devil and angle on the shoulders thing from all sorts of gay movies. But, it isn't really like that. It's more like two people in an office. One, is a hard worker that is on the level for the most part, but has kick ass weekends. The other, is a lazy son of a bitch, who spends his weekends jumping off of moving trucks and shaving every cat he can find. Somehow, these two people are friends, and trust each other. In fact, they spend every waking minute with each other. It works out well though. For instance, the first guy keeps the second guy from doing something really dumb, and the second guy keeps the first guy fun and amusing. Now, back to the point here. I think what happened for that 2 minutes, is that the first guy went to the bathroom or something, and the second guy was left to fend for himself. When I got to the car, the first guy came back all sorts of refreshed from his monster piss, and that's when I actually said out loud, in public, "what the fuck am I doing??". Yes it was very awkward...

This doesn't really happen very often. So, if you know me, don't all the sudden think I am going to kill you in your sleep or something. It just happens every once in while. The times I really DO fear, are those when the first guy goes on vacation for a couple days. Those days are not the best I've ever had, that's for sure... But, it is a lot more exciting than when the second guy goes on vacation. And, I end up with some pretty kick ass scars. So, I guess there is really no complaining. If anything, we need to find a way to evict the first guy. Then, everything would be awesome all the time. Or, there would be a blackness that no one can describe.

SIDE NOTE - Me and my sister were once talking about death, and she didn't really get the concept at all. I tried to explain to her that is was nothingness. She said, no, it would be just like sleep. I was amazed that she couldn't comprehend the fact of death. It was amazing to me! I think I finally ended the conversation by telling her that death is just like a TV. The TV has no idea whats playing when you turn it off. I guess that would really work with any electrical device, but, that just popped into my head real quick...

So, what have we learned here today? Basically that sometimes it's good to have a balancing in your head that you can't explain. Because it's potentially scary, and not knowing makes the fear go away. Also, it would be awesome if guy number two would murder guy number one. Plus, your whole life can be summed up by talking about electronics.

What a great post this has been :)

Budweisers Signature Glass

I just saw a commercial on tv... right now, all about Budweisers Signature Glass. I am actually kind of pissed about it, to be completely honest. I get mad enough about commercials as it is, but this commercial was all about how Budweiser made this glass that completely releases the flavor of their beer just by the perfect way it's designed.

I might be a little drunk at the moment. Again, to be completely honest, I am actually drinking Budweiser. But, I am so taken back by how much bull shit was in that ad. Seriously, c'mon!! There is no fucking way that they invented that glass. I have seen many like it, and not all are even beer glasses.

I can see it all going down right now. Everyone who is a beer lover, or even extremely drunk at the moment (me), running around telling all their friends about this new "fact" and they should all try it. It's classic word of mouth advertising. When you really think about it, there are only a couple of demographics that really fall into the word of mouth advertising campaign category. Drunk people (the story teller group) are very high on the list. But, also high on the list, are retards. Yes, that's right. There is a demographic listing for the mentally impaired.

SIDE NOTE - Thank god for spell check, haha.

Anyway, I am a true Budweiser lover. I don't think I would drink anything other than Budweiser. Unless I am feeling a tap beer at the bar, in which case I would go with Stella. But, this is not a basic rant from some Heineken jerk that doesn't know the difference from beer to beer. This is a complete disgust for having the beer you love, make a shitty commercial out of something I know is bullshit.

Fucking A, Budweiser. Don't resort to the same thing everyone else is doing. Be yourself. I swear to god if you ever play that commercial again, I will have to look into a different brand. I probably won't, but STILL. Don't make me feel ashamed for drinking what I'm drinking. I have a lot of respect for you as a brand, but don't make us all look like idiots by spreading this kind of crap. Why can't you just talk about the taste, or quality, or ANYTHING else. That should all sell your base customer way better than some crap story about how the glass you "invented" makes your crappy beer taste better.

In fact, that's another point all together. You are making people think your beer tastes like shit without the "special" glass. You're a billion dollar brand! Why didn't you pay someone who knows how to market instead of the no name hack fuck company that made that commercial? It just makes no sense to me.

Whatever. I can only assume it doesn't matter to you. You don't care about your brand. Why you wouldn't, I have no idea. But, it would seem that way. If you DO care, I would stop the placement of those ads, and never speak of it again. Go back to the horses, and the old cowboy spirit. That's what makes you... YOU! Unless you would rather be another Zima. I guess that's up to you...

A Relocation and Thoughts

Well, I am finally doing it. I am moving to Middletown. I just found out today that I am approved, and now I just need to figure out when to move in. I am hoping this weekend, but, as it turns out, there is a photo shoot in NY that I might have to go to. That would suck. I originally thought it was supposed to be in late May, but I guess I was wrong. Anyway, here's to hoping I don't have to go. I am way to excited to move into the new place.

The original owner of the apartment was Greg. Someone we knew from the warehouse in Middletown, CT. I guess Marcus, from Pullout Method, used to live there with him, but money troubles arose and then Greg needed a roommate to pull the other half of the rent. Luckily for both me and Greg, I was looking for a place in the area of Middletown. We used to hang with Greg more often then we recently have been, but he's a cool dude, so living there should be fun experience.

Why would I want to move to Middletown if I work in Stamford? Basically, everyone I know is in Middletown. Plus, I have developed an interest in someone who lives close to there, and I am curious to see where it will lead :) The biggest reason, is for Cut Me Deep really. Being this far away from the crew makes communication a little harder. Since everyone involved with Cut Me Deep is basically in and around Middletown, why not be there, too.

It's a bad ass apartment! There's 3 floors, which include a basement, 1st floor, and 2nd floor. Starting off in the basement, there's a washer and dryer, there's a pool table, and a deck. Moving to the 1st floor, there's a pretty big kitchen, a pretty big living room, and another deck. Finally on to the 2nd floor, there's my room (which is really I saw other than the bathroom). My room is pretty bad ass, too. It's almost like two rooms since there's a loft in there. I was thinking about putting the bed up in the loft. But then, Nick brought up the fact that I would probably kill myself somehow. So, then I got to thinking about putting the bed on the regular floor, buuuut, I know I would jump off the loft into way more than anyone ever should. Plus, I kind of like the way my neck isn't broken right now. Hmmm, I guess I have a problem then. Shit.

The really cool thing about this place, is that hear and hot water is included. Some of you might be saying "so what ya fucking jerk?!". Well, out here in Stamford, you can never find a place that has ANYTHING included. Everything out here is over priced and small as hell. I am so relieved to be getting something for under $2,000. When I was looking for places out here, I found an apartment that was under 400 sqr feet, for over a $1,000. The sad thing, is that I almost took it, and there was nothing included. It was basically a dorm room with how small it was. But, from what I'm told, the closer you get to NY, the drastically more you pay.

So, this weekend should be awesome, as long as I don't have to go to the photoshoot. Can't wait to get in there!!

Lamb of God: Sacrament

I was just looking for some new music to listen to earlier today, when I remembered how much I loved the band Lamb of God. I decided to see if they had anything new out. Turns out, I completely missed a release. It was back in 2006 that they released their latest album Sacrament. After finding this out, I went straight to a download site to get it (yes, I paid for it, no worries).

This CD kicks ass! If you are into hardcore metal, definitely go out and get it. It ranges from extreme hardcore, to even more extreme hardcore. I think it should be the angry album of all time.


The Song List

01: Walk With Me in Hell
02: Again We Rise
03: Redneck
04: Pathetic
05: Foot to the Throat
06: Descending
07: Blacken the Cursed Sun
08: Forgotten Lost Angels
09: Requiem
10: More Time to Kill
11: Beating on Deaths Door


The best song on this album, in my opinion, is "Again We Rise". I think I have been listening to it non stop for a couple hours now. I am wondering when I will get sick of it. I'm starting to think never. It starts off with this demonic guitar riff, then hits this incredible scream until it goes right into the metal build up.

I am not completely sure if it can really compete with Lamb of God's previous albums, seeing as how they were extremely bad ass, but I will give it a couple more days before I decide on that one.

Anyway, I completely recommend this album to anyone out there that loves metal. Oh yea, and as it goes for anything I would ever listen to, this album is probably for adults only. Unless you parents don't mind you screaming adult language everywhere you go. If that's the case, feel free little ones.

Abortions for Global Warming

I formally submit this idea for the restoration of our planet and the cure for global warming. It's a long term plan that should cut down harmful, atmosphere killing pollutants. When looking at what really causes the problems on this earth, it's obvious that we are the leaders in the planet killing.

I propose we set a mandatory abortion rate set all over the world. For instance, North America must perform 3 billion abortions in one year. China must perform 50 billion abortions every month. This would bring down the rate at which we create other vessels to kill the world.

I know that most of you out there are saying to yourselves "what a horrible thing to say". But is it really? After a while, people can start making games out of it. It would be like a party trick or something. Whoever gets the most abortions wins! Then, they have to finish their beer.

I have had a girlfriend (now ex-girlfriend) who had two abortions. No, they weren't mine. She was completely fine with it. In fact, I thought I saw a smile on her face as they turned them into scrambled eggs. She was kind of sick though....

To get serious for a moment, kill all your babies, and save your earth! It's that simple. I am hoping that in the future women actually protest this movement, so that we have to force them to get it done. That would make it much more fun for the rest of us. Maybe.

That's right, there's no god here.

What's Wrong with Me?

I wish I knew a complete reason why I feel this way all the time, and why I can't just make it go away. Even on the ride to work this morning, I practically started crying for no reason. There is no reason for me to feel this way, ever. So why is it ALWAYS this way?!?! Is this how you all feel all the time?? If so, then I don't want to be like you anymore. I have been doing everything I have been told to do, and the only thing that seems to have gone away is the constant anger for who I am (which is just another issue all together). All day today, I have been thinking of just walking away from work, and just seeing how far I can walk. Just leave everything behind, and see what happens.

I know this feeling will go away... at least that's what I hope. That's probably why I didn't just run off and say fuck this. The way it has usually worked, is that I will be extremely happy for about a month, then just ok for like two, and then horribly unhappy for a month. That cycle just repeats forever. But now a days, it's like I only get a day of being really happy and 4 months of this horrible feeling. When will it just fucking stop?!

I guess there is no answer found here. The only thing I can do, is just sit here like the domestic cow I am, and do nothing. There is nothing for me anywhere, and I just have to deal with it I guess. It's almost kind of funny how the dreams of a child turn into what ever the hell this is.

Fuck it. Whatever.

The Many Names for Jonathan R. Jansma

This got brought up at some point this past weekend. I don't remember how it came up, but I thought it was actually kind of weird. I have many different nick names. It would seem that each one either fits a different personality or an atmosphere. Let's run through them and see what's what....

1: Jon
This one is obviously my real name shortened down. I would probably consider it the folder in which all other names are organized. Usually I hear this name when I am in trouble, or made someone mad, disgusted, or just plain unhappy. When this name is called out, it almost seems as if I am being put back into place. This name basically brings me back to the real world if I am floating too far off. In general I am pretty depressed all the time, and becoming one of the other people in this list helps to keep me here.

2: Double J
This name is only used when I am at work. My boss, Shawn D. Nelson, found out I was called DJ Double J back in the day and I guess it just stuck. I like to think of this name as the attempt to make an office atmosphere into a "let's hang out and be friends, bro" workshop. Even though no one here is actually friends, it makes them feel better to pretend we are.

3: Jebus
Only close friends and relations call me Jebus. I like to think of this name as the fun and crazy dude that binge drinks, calls you a whore, and then screams fuck you as loud as he can. But, he is also the dude that can actually care about other people with actual emotions. Realistically, every other persona I have is pretty dried up in the emotional department, but Jebus is all about sharing his love. Unless you piss him off... then he changes back into Jon real quick, and he's dangerous... Jebus is the name used to make myself feel better about being me. He is always right next to the other names waiting for his chance to make things fun.

4: FASTERCHILD
I would consider this persona to be the business side of things. He is all about getting shit done, and getting it done right. Sometimes, it's hard to get FC out from under his house of rocks, but when he finally emerges from the rubble you better be able to keep up. I think I like this guy the best, but it's just so damn draining to be him all the time.


There used to be many more, but they all got phased out after time. Even though these seem like enough names to get me through the day, there are billions of different people living up in my head. Sometimes, it truly feels like someone else is taking control of who I am. I wonder if that's a serious problem or not? I guess if I've never experienced anything else, how could be a problem, right?

I think it's all good anyway. No one would ever want to know Jon anyway. He sucks.

Free Sex with Hardcore Porn Star Action

I got to thinking a little while ago just how different life would be if I had made some different choices during my short time of life. I don't think I would be who I am at all. Going back and thinking about it, there were many different cross roads in my life that yielded many different out comes.

For instance, the one I was thinking about the most today, was I had the chance to become a porn star. Sounds weird to say out loud, or even say in my head. My brother, Ian, knew someone that lived out in Cali who was actually all up in the business of adult film making. If I had decided to move out there and become a porn star, just imagine how different I would be! There were obvious reasons why I didn't get into it, but a part of me still thinks "what if?".

Another good example, what if I had actually cared about school studies? I dropped out of my original high school. It just moved to slow, and I hated it. Therefor, I didn't get very good grades. But, what if I had cared about getting good grades and impressing the school staff with dedication and hard work? Who knows. I would probably be a rambling nerd with nothing better to do but watch movies all day, play with Star Wars collector cups, and masturbate every 15 minutes. I can only assume that this one ended up for the better...

There are a million different things I can think of. Like, what if I had kept letting that woman drag me down? I became a successful web designer right after ending that one. What if I had never started smoking? Things would be so much different if I didn't smoke, at least that's what I think anyway. What if I had not flipped my car into someone else's house? Well, I would be able to use my left hand completely, and I would probably still play guitar. Other than that, I think I would still think of myself as indestructible, and do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

As you can see, the list goes on and on and on. If you have one for me to answer, hit me up. Thinking about this is fun for the moment...

South Park Internet Episode

Last night Comedy Central aired an episode of South Park where all of America lost internet. I actually thought it was kind of absurd. The voice acting was really well done, and the animation was really done well. I personally think the story line was kind of dumb though. It seems like they are running out of ideas or something. Don't get me wrong, they have done an incredibly awesome job since they started and I guess they have been able to write some pretty crazy stuff within their history. But, last nights episode was basically sub par. I wasn't really entertained as much as I should have been.

Oh well, I guess that's just the way it goes. I am really hoping that this was just a fluke and they have some better episodes coming up. I suppose they can't all be awesome. What I really want to see is sequel to Team America. I think that would be amazing. Of course, I am not usually the type of person to enjoy sequels, but I think that movie was amazing, and they could totally make something great out of another installment. Or, maybe I am just pissed that I can't just watch the original whenever I want because a douche ass bitch of an ex-girlfriend stole my copy... bitch.

Taco Bell, Beer, and Work

I was thinking about my life today. It's weird, 'cause I am not sad or anything. I guess I just started thinking about my daily routine. Every single day is basically the same. Most of you out there probably feel the same way. But, for giggles, let's take a look at a regular day for FASTERCHILD.

1: Wake Up - Yea, this definitely happens everyday, and I'm getting sick of it!

2: Drive to Work - This part isn't so bad. It gives me some good ol' fashioned alone time to think about new and crazy ideas.

3: Start Working - This part is ok, too. Work doesn't suck, I think it's the having to physically BE at work that sucks. I would rather be free to roam the streets and cause problems for hobos.

4: Go to Lunch - Every single day I eat at Taco Bell. I love it, but, it is probably going to kill me soon if I keep doing that. I think there is a Subway around here somewhere. I will have to think about changing this habit.

5: Go Back to Work - Same deal as before. I think it just sucks knowing that I'm stuck in a building until a certain time, and there's nothing I can do about it.

6: Leave Work - This part is not as awesome as you would think it to be. Basically, I am just leaving to go to another building that I can't leave until a certain time again. But it's cool, 'cause I can at least drink beers at that one.

7: Bed Time - Let the TV put me to sleep just to repeat the whole thing over again.

So, you tell me. Is my life really worth all that? Probably. It's definitely isn't worth any more than that. Oh well.

I want to know what your normal day is like! Comment this with the structure of your day. Let's be sad together :)

Food and Your Mouth

For those of you that know me, you know that I try my hardest not to eat in front of anyone. Some say this is rude. I say it's the most polite thing in the world for me to do. I haaaate watching people eat and having them watch me. It's really just gross. It's not even just seeing people eat, it's hearing them eat. There are so many gross sounds that come out of your mouth when you are eating. It's unbearable.

In fact, let me say something to all you gum chewers out there. SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH'S! There is no need for you to be chomping away at your gum, full forced, gums flapping every where, waking up abandoned children 10 states away. They need their sleep people. They are abandoned for god's sake. Anyway, it's really a horrible thing to be a part of. For instance, I had to stand next to some girl in an elevator. She was going at her gum like she hadn't eaten for a month. Keep in mind, this was in an elevator. So the sound of her gum was resonating into every pour of my skin. I thought I was going to have to grab her by her hair and start bashing her head against the hand rails until she had to have assistance eating her salad and toast milk shake.

Look, I would say to do something about this, but odds are, you won't. If you DO want to do anything about it, just be aware of your surroundings or something. Every time I witness someone making horrible food sounds, I notice that they are just kind of spacing out. I think that's great that you can drown out yourself with thoughts about what shoes you're going to wear tomorrow. But, I can't. The rest of the world has to suffer while you just sit there being gross.