Skunk Attack

I was taking a break from the computer and having a smoke on the basement patio. I hate smoking back there to begin with just because some stupid kids like to shoot our building with bb's and I'm afraid I'm going to catch one in the face, so I was on edge as it was. Half way through my Marlboro Red break I got surprised by what appeared to be an extremely ugly cat. To my horror I noticed it had a white back and a huge tail. When I say it surprised me, I mean this thing came out of no where not even knowing I was there. There was a split second between seeing the skunk turn the corner and stop 3 feet in front of me. When he looked up and saw me there it felt like stand off between cowboys. I'm pretty sure he's a quicker draw than me and I was scared shitless. I didn't want to make a move for fear that he was going to squirt me to death with his horrifyingly pungent ass liquid. He caught me right when I was taking a drag, so with one hand at my mouth all I could muster to say is "Oh, shit. Go away. Please go away. Please. Go away..." as quietly as possible as to not scare it too much. After what felt like 3 minutes the skunk decided to spare me and ran off to find more deserving victims.

I've never thought about it before, but the skunk is a very scary animal. I don't really know much about them but I think they might be the only animal that can take you out just by making you stink extremely bad. I mean, bears might be really dangerous, but they are only going to make me smell really bad by making me shit my pants. Same goes for house cats.

Anyway, a skunk was the last thing I expected to see in the heart of Middletown, CT. what the hell is it doing out here anyway?!