Valentines Day

Another Valentines Day is upon us. To be completely honest I had no idea when it was until someone randomly told me it was on Feb 14th. Either way, it's yet again that time of year where star-crossed lovers have to show each other just how much they care. How can this be done you ask? It's simple my friend! Just spend as much money as you possibly can and you should be all set.

Most people can show that special person they love with a simple hug, a well planned kiss, or even a nice hard fucking. But on Feb 14th none of these things are just quite good enough. According to your local retail store you MUST purchase a bunch of cutesy crap and of course a very special Valentines Day Card. If you don't you just might find yourself alone for the rest of the year and you definitely won't be getting laid. Realistically Valentines Day creates whores out of all of us. You must spend at least $50 if you want even the slightest slap and tickle.

So here's to all of you that participate in Valentines Day. Money will completely make up for your complete lack of affection. So what are you waiting for?! Get out there and drain your bank account!! Just don't buy her too much candy. You still want her to look some what skinny when you finally get to fuck her.