Salmonella in Mixed Nuts

Last Wednesday I decided it would be a great idea to eat some Planters Honey Roasted Mixed Nuts while watching some TV in my room. Those particular nuts my father had given to me for Valentines day. I believe I ate them around 2 or 3 in the morning on Wednesday. I felt fine, but thought I may have eaten a couple too many just because my burps had a powerful taste of cashews, peanuts, and other various nuts. At about 7a.m. Wednesday morning, I started to feel slightly nauseous and decided to go to bed. I pretty much thought I had eaten too many nuts and that a good sleep would help my body to just get rid of them.

I woke up around 2p.m. and thought I felt better. But, I still had those extremely gross burps. Right before I got in the shower my body said "you betta poop son!" and so I did. It was like I was pissing out of my ass! It was gross, and somewhat frightening. As I was stepping into the shower I remembered how much water I drank before I went to bed to try and dissolve the nuts and that's probably why my bowel movements were that way.

It's no secret, as I tell most of my friends, that I like to lay down in the shower when I'm not feeling well. It makes the shower feel like a tropical rain that washes away all the bad things. This time that was not the case. I had to get up off my back, get on all fours, and puke like a monster giving birth. Of course there wasn't just one instance this round. I had to puke 5 times just while I was in the shower. The first two times had a lot of water in it (so that's what happened to all that water I drank before sleeping), then the third time was a mix between Mountain Dew and Peanuts (yea... gross), then the fourth time was purely nuts. It was exactly like that episode of South Park where everyone starts pooping out of their mouths. It was really gross.

After cleaning the bath tub (ugh..) I figured that maybe all the nuts I ate clogged my stomach and nothing was able to get through my system. Which made sense to me cause I felt a lot better and maybe that's why I was pooping water before (that's what your body will sometimes do if there is an obstruction within your system in an attempt to unblock it). So, I went about my day thinking everything was going to be better. Nope, I had to puke like every 15 minutes and since I sometimes didn't have enough time to get any water in my system before doing so, it was sometimes pure dry heaving.

After about the 6th time being trapped in the bathroom I decided to call my mother who used to be a nurse. She said that it's possible that I overdosed on nuts, and that I should just wait it out. But, she ended up calling back about an hour later telling me that nuts have been claimed to have salmonella in them, and that there's basically nothing I can do about it but ride it out.

So, there you have it. I spent all Webnesday and most of this morning sick with salmonella ingested from Planters Honey Roasted Mixed Nuts. What a great time it was! I recommend it to all small kids, pregnant women, and elderly folk.

If you would like to learn more about salmonella check out this website.

Oh yea, one thing I did find out from the whole experience is that I am addicted to cold sweats. After each session of puking I was completely covered in a cold sweat, and I loved it! I wish there was a good way to replicate it and do all the time. It feels so good!!