Rebuilding Muscle Mass

I have decided that I am way too lazy as a person. I think it's from years of corporate work, sitting in a chair, not moving, and just wasting away on a computer. Realistically I have been working in an office for about 2 years without participating in any kind of physical activity. Yes, I guess sex does count a physical work out, but that's all done in a fit of passion (in most cases).

I realized today that I am not as strong as I used to be. I tried to do some pull ups out of pure boredom, and I could only do like 4 until I decided it sucked and I was out of shape. I guess Jansma's don't get fat, we just get wastefully skinny. Then I tried to do some free weights, and it was basically a pathetic attempt.

Realizing that I am ridiculously out of shape, I am going to start working out on a regular basis. I will most likely try and keep to a basic routine, and hopefully a lot of it will just get easier over time and I will have to bump up the weights and reps. I was thinking of starting out with like 20 push ups, as many pull ups as I can do, and whatever free weight exercises I can think of.

I also think it would be funny if this went really well and I ended up being a 6'4" power house of destruction. That would be AWESOME. I just wonder if there is a certain way I am supposed to go about it, or if random exercises will be enough.

Everyone I Used to Know

Last night Q the Muse and I stayed up late and talked over some beers. It just kind of started out of nowhere. But, we talked about a lot of stuff that turned out being kind of important I guess. Then today I realized what has been bothering me. I think I just miss everyone I used to know. It's weird how the conversation I had with Q made me think of this, but I think it's the truth.

I used to know a LOT of people and they were all very good friends of mine. I'm not completely sure what the hell happened, but one after another they started disappearing. There were some people that bailed because things were getting to heated (understandable), others that bailed because they simply grew up (less understandable), and others that were shunned for their behavior within the group (no this is not a rant on that bull shit). Actually, to be completely honest, if I was ever pissed at anyone I'm completely over it, now. Aaaaaanyway...

I guess I am just saying that I miss all you people that are no longer in our lives. That sucks that you either decided to leave or we removed you. I guess I'm in the boat with every other mother fucker that wishes they could have done things differently. Cheers to us.

Rambling Thoughts on Christmas

My mother, Eve, wanted to write something for Cut Me Deep in the Christmas spirit. So, I figured I would post it where everyone would be able to see it. Thanks mom!

"Can't remember the last time it snowed on Christmas since we left Vermont. I think this will be the first here in CT. At least that I can remember.

No, that's not right. A year or so after we moved here, there was snow on Christmas Eve. We were at a neighborhood party. A party given for people without extended families. Especially given for that purpose by a lovely lady who is dead now.

I don't know why I remembered that just now. It was a long time ago it seems. It was nice. She was nice. And it's gone.

So are the five little kids who used to have trouble falling asleep at night on Christmas Eve. So are the carrots for Santa's reindeer. And the cookies.

But then so is the mom who used to bake for days. Nut cups, Yule log, Stars and Christmas tree sugar cookies. The mom who used to decorate every square inch of the house.

Don't know what happened. Maybe it's supposed to happen. Children grow up and have other priorities. Shit happens like a divorce, a house burning down, kids trying to figure out where they are going in life and mucking it up.

Comes down to Christmas is a fantasy and probably few people really get it.

The other day my daughter was told that it was sad to be an atheist. And when my daughter commented to the mother of her friend that Christmas was too stressful, the mother snapped back in utter stress that "no, it wasn't"

Right. What would Christ have to say if he came down now and saw everyone running around trying to find that one edition of "Guitar Hero Three.?" Running around getting the latest of this and that, satisfying lists of already spoiled kids, and burning out their credit cards, leaving the details of how to pay for all of this for some other time.

And what would Christ have to say about the television commercials. Those horrible things that tell the have-nots what they should have but WON"T be getting for Christmas?

What would he say?

I think that he would cry. He would cry because all those wonderful Christians who think it is a sin to be atheist don't get it either. Totally missed the point.

Oh, that's an exaggeration to be sure. There are one or two people out there who give to the needy and do something selfless for Christmas. And there are even some of them who live that selfless spirit all year long. And I thank them for that. Because it gives me hope. Makes me think that Santa does exist in spite of all the commercial hype.

And me. I used to do that too. But now too stressed. Too involved in my own issues. Such a hypocrite I am. Maybe next year. Maybe when things are all settled. Maybe."

~ Eve

Christmas is Creepy

I am not completely sure how I ever got to thinking Christmas is really creepy. Maybe it is just something that was buried into my brain when I was younger or something. I don't remember anything really bad happening during a past Christmas or even really close to one. But, here are a couple things that creep me out about Christmas.

1: Christmas Lights
Seeing the lights on the Christmas tree late at night when all the lights are off and everyone else in the world is sleeping, is one of the creepiest things in the world. It's almost like the lights gave this ceremonial tree a life of it's own, and I think a tree could murder me if it was really angry.

2: Christmas Music
I have yet to hear a Christmas song that doesn't freak me out. I'm not talking about those crappy songs that country stars made up to sell some records. I'm talking about old school Christmas songs. Like "Carol of the Bells" and all that. There is just something demonic about it all. Makes me think by singing these songs in a choir that people are trying to raise zombie Jesus to do there bidding and kill the villainous tyrant Santa Claus.

3: Santa Claus
Something about a really old man with a bag of "gifts" coming into my house while I am sleeping is disturbing to me. I say "something" as if I didn't already know why. But, I don't wanna get butt raped. Nor do I want a huge fat and sweaty man lurking over my bed making sure that I am sleeping. I can already imagine his hot breath all over my face. Gross.

4: Elves
I personally think that if the economy sucks so bad, who's to say these little guys didn't get laid off along with the rest of us?! So now we have a shit load of pissed off elves with broken homes, dissolved families, and drinking problems. One of my deepest fears in life is that I will have to fight against an army of drunken elves, and that nightmare just might come true this year.

5: Christmas Shows
There is only one Christmas show that I actually enjoy on an entertainment level, and that's called "A Christmas Story" I believe. It involves a young boy that wants a BB Gun for Christmas and everyone tells him that he'll shoot his eye out. But, even that show shares some of the creepy points to Christmas. In most other Christmas shows everyone is so happy and loved for no real reason. There is usually an issue that the main character needs to get through, but everything still ends up incredibly happy and everyone finds the true meaning of Christmas. To be honest, I'm not sure why that's creepy, but it definitely is!

In short, I DO enjoy Christmas, but there's a lot about it that makes me stay up at night scared out of my mind. If not scared, then mentally deranged with homicidal tendencies. Maybe I should just hide away this Christmas and play it safe...