The Many Names for Jonathan R. Jansma

This got brought up at some point this past weekend. I don't remember how it came up, but I thought it was actually kind of weird. I have many different nick names. It would seem that each one either fits a different personality or an atmosphere. Let's run through them and see what's what....

1: Jon
This one is obviously my real name shortened down. I would probably consider it the folder in which all other names are organized. Usually I hear this name when I am in trouble, or made someone mad, disgusted, or just plain unhappy. When this name is called out, it almost seems as if I am being put back into place. This name basically brings me back to the real world if I am floating too far off. In general I am pretty depressed all the time, and becoming one of the other people in this list helps to keep me here.

2: Double J
This name is only used when I am at work. My boss, Shawn D. Nelson, found out I was called DJ Double J back in the day and I guess it just stuck. I like to think of this name as the attempt to make an office atmosphere into a "let's hang out and be friends, bro" workshop. Even though no one here is actually friends, it makes them feel better to pretend we are.

3: Jebus
Only close friends and relations call me Jebus. I like to think of this name as the fun and crazy dude that binge drinks, calls you a whore, and then screams fuck you as loud as he can. But, he is also the dude that can actually care about other people with actual emotions. Realistically, every other persona I have is pretty dried up in the emotional department, but Jebus is all about sharing his love. Unless you piss him off... then he changes back into Jon real quick, and he's dangerous... Jebus is the name used to make myself feel better about being me. He is always right next to the other names waiting for his chance to make things fun.

4: FASTERCHILD
I would consider this persona to be the business side of things. He is all about getting shit done, and getting it done right. Sometimes, it's hard to get FC out from under his house of rocks, but when he finally emerges from the rubble you better be able to keep up. I think I like this guy the best, but it's just so damn draining to be him all the time.


There used to be many more, but they all got phased out after time. Even though these seem like enough names to get me through the day, there are billions of different people living up in my head. Sometimes, it truly feels like someone else is taking control of who I am. I wonder if that's a serious problem or not? I guess if I've never experienced anything else, how could be a problem, right?

I think it's all good anyway. No one would ever want to know Jon anyway. He sucks.